


The Lorp Saga

by BoxedWater



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-19
Updated: 2016-09-19
Packaged: 2018-08-16 01:08:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 810
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8080834
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BoxedWater/pseuds/BoxedWater
Summary: A silly love triangle is occurring at Watchpoint, and nobody thinks anything of it! Until two dead bodies are found laying in the grass, and suddenly everybody is concerned. New friendships are made, relationships shatter, and people really question why they are even there in the first place.
This is also known as, a series of things I wrote while I was dead tired and taking medication.
Please enjoy ;)





	1. Of Lorp

   McCree. _McCree_. _**Gosh darn, knee spankin' rib rippin' boot lickin' McCree.**_

* * *

   Silly Hanzo was too gosh darn busy trying to kill his brother again that he didn't even NOTICE when the gosh darn **ripped** cowboy patted the angry short Japanese ex-man on the shoulder during the meaningless spar between two really angry dragon lovers who happen to be brothers, I guess. Hanzo of course, reacted badly, turning swiftly around and looking McCree in the gosh darn stomach and then grabbing his non robotic arm, with such a romantic and sweet gentle touch Hanzo thought he was going to...die in the arms of the cowboy man.

   Hanzo broke his arm. It wasn't his fault!! He didn't expect McCree's arm to just pop off like some Barbie doll that was left in the oven for too long. No, no. But uh, now Hanzo was holding the cowman's arm awkwardly and- oh Genji left, that son of a gun.

   And now McCree was on the ground and screaming to the tune of a country song Hanzo recognized as Taylorp Shwifty. McCree had a weird taste in music.

   After gazing off for a minute or two Hanzo remembered man was dying!! That's no good because if McCree dies who will love him?? Certainly not Genji because he left, that stupid idiot, anime freak, gosh darn weirdo-

   McCree, with his last breath, gurgled out a noise, prompting Hanzo to sit down next to the cowboy laying on the ground, his arm still being held with Hanzo's naked left arm side.

   "Short man...Hanko..." McCree touched Hanzo's face with his hat. Hanzo raised an eyebrow really high, up to where his hairline was receding, and leaned closer to McCree's face.

   "I lorp...Gen...ji," and then he died. Hanzo died too.

 


	2. To Lorp, or not to Lorp

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Behind the scenes....people do some things

  
   The two weirdos back there were really **mAKING GENJI ANGRY** so he walked off. He walked off in hopes of finding HIS boyfriend. Botfriend. Friend with benefits. And Zenyatta was in the same place he always was. In Genji's room. Who the heck knows what he does in there. Genji doesn't really care.  
   He opened the door to his room, taking note of the many anime stickers on his beaten door. One time his room caught on fire and he cried. And Zenyatta was right there in the middle of the room, and with his calm, quiet and relaxing voice he said to Gengi.  
   " **MCCREE AND HANZO R DEAD"**   
Gaspu!! Said Generation, smacking his bum because he was getting tired and he's dead inside.   
   "Watashi can no believe Hanzo-kun is...dead,"  
   "McCree is also dead,"  
   Frightened, Genji looked up in panic to his robo boyfriend who was ready to fly out of the window because the weather wasn't really good and even the smallest gust of wind could blow him away. Genji doesn't even know why it's windy, the weather reporter said clear skies with a high of 12°.  
   "T-The cowboy??" Unfortunately Zenyatta nods his head yes, tears made of gasoline spilling onto the ground and destroying Gengi's anome rug.  
   "noooo" cried the cyborg ninja, falling into his knees and smalling his hands on the ground.  
   "Watashi lorped McCree!!"


	3. Lorp, Lorp, Lorp

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the last for now...my apologies

   Genji's room was on fire again. Reaper had no idea why but the screaming coming from inside the base was interrupting his ping pong game. The edgelord only plays his best when the table is on the side of a cliff, with the sun getting ready to set. The inky colors of the sun and the taunting colors of the night mixed together, creating a beautiful balance of night and day. But the sun wasn't even close to setting yet so Reaper had to focus on beating the robot before him so hard it spontaneously combusts.  
   "Beep beep," said Bastion, whacking the small white ball really hard with his silly paddle.   
   " **Do not torment me,"** Reaper asked politely. His voice was gnarly but nothing a cough drop couldn't fix. He kicked the ping pong ball with his foot and took out the robot's bird, Alcohol, Reaper believed that was his name.  
   But then, they heard it. The screams of death of the sounds of a love triangle, so Reaper walked over to Bastion, picked him up with one arm and zoomed across the cliff, leaving the ping pong table alone, sad.   
   They were there. They were _dead_. They were just laying there, held in eachother's **ripped** arms.

   McCree.... Reaper dropped to his knees next to the cowboy, sobbing dramatically and smacking the cowboy with his demon hand.  
   " **McCree!! My baby!**!" sobbed edgelord, with Bastion also crying behind him. And- whoops the robot crushed Hanzo's legs because he was careless. Now Hanko had no legs, how unfortunate. So the two weeped and cried and Hanzo was tossed under the bus. And somewhere in the distance you could hear a ping pong table falling off a cliff...


End file.
